You reach a point that you must resign from polite society as you can no longer be trusted
around reasonable polite people....
My solution...Get naked, get in the hot tub, and leave unambiguous threats against the family,
the neighborhood, the town, the state and the federal government that anything that would
cause an interruption of this activity would be met with fatal bodily harm.
Break out the Crown Royal, bring the unopened bottle with you and a cooler of ice.....and pipe the Boston Pops to the patio....
Now, sit back, relax, drink until your stupid and your skin looks like a dried date. Let nothing, I mean nothing, interrupt your quite time.....Now here's the critical part...stay in this environment until you only have
enough strength and sensibility to crawl to your bed...failure to do this will result in sleeping on the side of the
hot tub, on the patio, or in the hallway to the bedroom.....Set no alarm's sleep until your body says to get up
then sleep 4 more hours....
Not sure what I have accomplished as now I have a splitting headache, my hair itches, my teeth hurt, and I feel like I got run over by a big truck. And I have to start this chit all over at 6:00am tomorrow morning......
Sometimes think I would be better off getting a sleeping bag, a bottle of Windex, a squeegee and heading to the beach and become a beach bum.....I could offer to clean window's during the day to pay for my Crown and sleep on the beach........Time to check out Bass Pro Shop I understand they have nice sleeping bags at
great prices.........
I think maybe just a wee bit less of the Crown might have helped. Or, a couple of nude 25 year olds? LOL
ReplyDeleteSherry...had there been a couple of nude 25 year olds they would have had to entertain themselves as I was way toooooooooo tired to even consider such an arrangement....
ReplyDeleteNow that is truly a sad sad state of affairs......
yeah, that is indeed sad!
ReplyDeleteWell shucks Bella....I wanted to rest not die.....
ReplyDeleteTAB,
ReplyDeleteWorst stretch I ever did was 18 straight, 12 of which were double shifts. The half dozen single shifts felt like days off and when I did finally take a whole day, the hospital called to ask me to work. I told 'em if I came in, it would be as a patient not an employee. The worst of it was, I hardly had the strength or energy to lift a can or bottle the whole time. And nary a hot tub in sight.
Mr. O.
ReplyDeleteHot tub southern style: fill up the bed of your pick up with water and park it over a camp fire....
TAB:
ReplyDeleteEvery lifestyle has its pros and cons. There are even positive and negative aspects to becoming a beach bum. Just make sure that you have an adequate supply of Windex and paper towels.
Whit...sounds like a plan except not sure about the winter months...probably would have to winter in Southern Calif
ReplyDeleteFire up some Moroccian blond hashish pulled through a hookah of icy peach juice, put your feet up, get you a bowl of grapes, dates, and sweet potato chips dusted with chipolte, turn on some music and position yourself where the sky falls in on you.
ReplyDeleteOnly do this one time every two or three years, more than that it's abuse.
Fringe....Tried something akin to that in Nam once...The results scared the beJesus out of me..
ReplyDeleteEvery time I closed my eyes, I saw a solid purple background with 5 solid gold guitar stings vibrating...Opened my foot locker to get some Aspirin and the foot locker had something akin to wallpaper in the lid...the wallpaper was crawling around....Swore off grapes for life at that point......LOL........
TAb,
ReplyDeleteGood decision, it's been a few dogs life times since I did that. See while you were in Nam, I was in Germany. We faced down the Ruskies and fought in the bars and wine fest's, oh it was terrible rough going sometimes.